I think every painter has moments where they feel like they are really tapped in, they are on the path – they will achieve their goals and vision. I think that we couldn’t last as painters if we didn’t have those times where we feel for a moment some form of the capacity for greatness. The brush flows, the lines appear effortlessly on the paper. It is all magic and Zen. And then there are weeks like this:
This was one of those weeks where you just do the work. You don’t do great work; magic doesn’t happen, and for the uninitiated it would appear that you have regressed back to the stage of scribbles. In fact 80% (or more) of the work of an artist I am beginning to believe is just this – doing not so great WORK. No great results, no watershed moments, no rapid progress… another week of drawing and pressing yourself to see even more, even better, even deeper into the thing you are rendering.
My week started with the figure (as seen above). It was the first day of an eight week pose, so I think there is still hope for this one. I can’t wait to post progress of it in a better shape than this shot finds it. I am however not here to say “hey I make really great drawings.” I am here to offer camaraderie to others on this same journey and maybe in my honesty provide encouragement when you meet with hard times or a challenging drawing. So back to the figure, I had a really hard time initiating the block in… I struggled keeping the model in the box. I was really intimidated by the beauty of the pose. You simply cannot fake this stuff. You can’t go into the studio on a down day and fake a good drawing. Truth shows. I am slowly getting to the point though, where I am proud of everything I do in the studio, even if it does not “shine” because it reflects something so important. It reflects in my opinion a sacred struggle to grow and a commitment to what I am most made of. What’s not to be proud of.
Probably the most frustrating part of my studies this week was starting a cast drawing of Michelangelo’s eye in charcoal, in sight size. This meant for me learning to see far away from the easel. You stand way back from your drawing and look… then look at your drawing and project where you want to make a mark. Memorize it… then walk to the easel and make your mark. Walk back and check your mark. So that is new for me. On top of that there is the ongoing charcoal learning curve. I am using vine charcoal for this and I like it much better than the Nitram I am using for the Bargue. It is softer and does not grit and jump.
This will be the first drawing that I start over since I began my studies here. Partly, well mostly it is because the only paper I had to draw on that day was a bit beat up. But it is also because in all my learning and erasing I created “unsightly ghost lines”. So I am going to let this one go and start fresh on Wednesday. Ghost lines… that is the topic for a while other blog post!
I worked on my Bargue angel at home – though did not get a critique on it. I will be getting critique next week so expect a lot of change on it in my next post. The Holbein didn’t come out to play this week at all. I am hoping to spend some time with her a little this week.
There is so much that goes on in every drawing for the student. I assume for the professional or accomplished artist as well – but the nature of the struggle is different. I think the most important thing I got out of the week was some advice from my new painting/cast drawing teacher Matthew Riggs – “Don’t fight it, don’t make it fight between you and the drawing. “ He also instructed some about capturing the expression of the form a little earlier in the block in process as opposed to just connected well measured dots of a grid. In the end you might have something that looks like the thing you are drawing but has no energy.
I was also told that I am going to be taught to draw like a painter. This made me giggle like a school girl! Have a great week!